Beyond Satprem and of the childish illusions

End of the Illusion Introduction

I had twenty-six years when I met Satprem for the first time. It was in 1969, in Pondichéry, the Bay of Bengal, in this play-ground where Mère, last eighty years, sometimes came to play tennis with the children of Ashram. Any expenses émoulu of the Occident, of the diplomas full the pockets, I looked at this world of simplicity and obvious by opening wide eyes of child. A few days before, Mère had received me and planted her diamond glance in me. And this first meeting with Satprem confirmed my interior certainty that it was this world which was mine since always and for always - although it appeared still quite mysterious to to me and not very in conformity with my mathematical theorems!

All had begun eighteen months earlier, place of Odéon in Paris. It is there that in February 1968, little time before the convulsions of May 68 which shook the world, the mouth of the subway had poured my destiny on the pavement, exactly under the eye of Danton, of which the statue throne on the place. A friend that I had not seen of long date left at this moment the subway. Hardly finished the astonished and charmed accodances, its first words were to indicate the name of a place to me which it had just visited in India and the name of a book which would explain all on this place. It had said that with an emergency kind in the tone, as when one discharges his conscience from a responsibility which one could not explain the exact origin. The place was called Pondichéry and delivers, Sri Aurobindo or conscience ventures, of Satprem.

In 1990, at the time of my last meeting with Satprem, at his place in Nilgiri, after it affirmed me to the point that my personal case concerned pure and simple exorcism, my glance of trustful child died out forever on the world of mirrors and illusions which I had maintained, at its sides, during more than twenty years. All these years since the first meeting - that I believed to have lived in an absolute devotion to the ideal of Mother and Sri Aurobindo, in a personal gift of every moment: by my industry, by my absorption in the tasks definite and developed by Satprem as being right and good - broke down in the indifferent dust of the way. It was necessary to face naked reality, without illusions and make-up, or to die of sorrow at once.

I would like to try here to tell what were done the years between these two meetings - and perhaps why the first carried already the first steps of the second. Today, by a Grace of which I do not finish being filled with wonder, I am in the life, beyond Satprem and of the childish illusions - in a life planted well in the reality, very disencumbered which it is personal phantasmagorias. My glance is clear and calm to re-examine all this traversed curve and to appreciate each turning, each stone of the way - and to include/understand the peremptory necessity for this perilous adventure which failed well to cost me the life.

And then, yes, it is Mère and Sri Aurobindo who shine, only, in all. More “guide”, more “big brother ahead on the way”, more “advanced and privileged interpreter”. More mirrors with the larks of any kind. Simple life, finally, between oneself and “that” (or perhaps “that” and “That”?)
Others did not have my chance…Continuation: Patrice

Jai Aurobindo ! Celui que nous avons vu aujourd’hui est sur terre. . .Blog La fin de l’Illusion Le commentaire de Boni End of the Subpages Illusion Patrice The cage The Diary Satprem The tragedy America The hammer rammer Faintness First turn of screw In obvious offence Violence The water drop The explosion Eclaicissements and assessment